Parenting, pt. 4

So I actually covered part of this in the last post . . . when it comes to an organic process, sometimes it's hard to strictly separate out different steps. They all sort of flow from one to the other.

But the last step I've found to this is Direction. And that's just following up your strategic thinking with strategic action. You see the challenges your kids will face, the parts of their personalities that will be stretched the most in the next stages, and you create opportunities for growth and teachable moments that can begin to move your kids toward maturity in these areas.

My daughter had a very definite view of the how the world Should Be, and sometimes it's very hard for her to adjust to the world As It Is. So I create small opportunities for her to learn to be a little more flexible in her approach to life. One of the things I've done is made sure I regularly serve food she's not a fan of, just to help her learn obedience in small things and to learn to deal with not always having things her way. And that it's OK that Liam messes up her organization, especially when she organizes things that aren't hers! It's not a big thing, but it helps build in her a certain way of looking at life. Small steps are easiest to teach, I think.

So that's it, really. Just OCD parenting (joke!). It's not reactive parenting, and when I find myself reacting, feeling out of control, and I pray, 9 times out of 10 God will tell me I'm not taking the time to think about my kids, and so I'm not prepared for them. If you have a strategy before the problem hits (or before it hits next time), you have a new default setting (a new automatic response) that can take over, instead of your old reactive setting. So it's not reacting to your kids, but being proactive: thoughtfully and prayerfully watching them, thinking about them, and then directing them on a path that fits them and moves them toward maturity. Easier said than done, that's for sure. But it helps to have something concrete to work toward!

What about you? What parenting advice do you give out, or was given to you? Believe me, I'd love to hear it. I, for one, have a long way to go!