What I've learned about parenting, pt. 2

Or rather, ideas I have about parenting so far, given that I'm not very far into it: my daughter turns 3 in just a few months. On the other hand, I'm fast coming to believe that toddlers are just very young teenagers . . . or maybe that teenagers are just very big toddlers??? Hmmm. And now I'm just going to leave that right there.

So what I'm discovering about parenting is that it seems to be a 3-stage process. This isn't developmental stages or anything like that. These are stages I go through--or remind myself to go through--every day. Because I needed an acronym I could remember easily, and because I've got a pretty weird sense of humor, I call it OCD parenting: observation, contemplation, direction.

I have to observe my kids constantly, starting at birth. Those of you who are parents know that there are some things you can just tell about your kid (especially in contrast to an older sibling) from their first 24 hours of life. For example, my daughter is the oldest. She watches the world, considers it, analyzes it, and figures out how to get what she wants and where she wants based on the rules she deduces. My son is almost 8 months. From the time he was born, he saw the world, and tried to change it to match what he wanted. My daughter will deal with things as they are until they pass her internal limit, and then she falls apart. On the other hand, things are either good or the end of the world; there is no middle ground for this boy!

So I watch both of them, trying to get to know them and understand them and how they think.I keep track of where they are developmentally, and try to figure out what might be the biggest challenges and the most rewarding aspects of the stage they're in and in the next stage. That way I can help them with their challenges and praise them and appreciate their successes. I can also be prepared with some strategies for the next stage, but that's getting ahead of myself. That's the next step: contemplation.

And it's late, and my daughter is apparently out of bed and in the bathroom playing with her stepping stool. Let's end it here for now, and pick up with contemplation next time! It's time for little girls to be in bed.